I thought I had found the perfect match. Jake was everything I was looking for in a partner. He was cute, funny, and charming. We had great chemistry and he always made me feel special. But then I discovered his dirty little secret. He was roaching me, and probably other women too. He was active on dating apps, looking for new dates and hookups behind my back. I felt betrayed, angry, and confused. How could he do this to me? And why? Roaching, or dating multiple people at the same time without telling them, is more common than you think in the online dating world. Some people do it to boost their ego, others to avoid commitment, and others to hedge their bets. But whatever the reason, it’s not fair to anyone involved. It can hurt your feelings, damage your trust, and ruin your chances of finding a real connection.
The Negative Impact of Roaching on You and Your Relationships
First of all, roaching is a major no-no. When you are seeing multiple people at the same time, you are not being upfront with them about your situation. You are giving them false hope, making them believe that they have a special place in your heart, when in reality you are keeping your eyes peeled for the next best thing. This can cause a lot of drama, pain, and bad karma. For example, when I found out that Jake was roaching me, I felt like he had stabbed me in the back and thrown me under the bus. He had said that he was crazy about me and that he wanted to make it official with me, but he was still swiping right and flirting with other chicks. I also wondered how many other victims he had left in his wake, and if he had any decency at all. How could he be such a jerk and a liar? I felt like I couldn’t trust him or anyone else, and I lost my mojo. I felt like I was not worthy of him, or of anyone else.
Moreover, roaching is a hassle and a headache, making it hard to focus on forming a real bond with any one person. When you are seeing multiple people, it can be hard to remember who you have said what to and when, which can lead to confusion and misunderstandings. You may end up slipping up, leaving out important details, or telling the same thing twice. This can make you look sloppy, clueless, or sneaky. For instance, one of my friends was roaching three guys at the same time, and she accidentally called one of them by the wrong name. She also forgot that she had already told one of them a story that she repeated to another one. She also got their hobbies and interests mixed up, and asked them the same questions again and again. This made them doubtful and pissed off, and they eventually dumped her. They figured out that she was not into them, and that she was playing them.
In addition, roaching is emotionally harmful. When you are seeing multiple people at the same time, it can be hard to develop real feelings for any of them. You may end up feeling disconnected, apathetic, or restless with each of them. This can lead to a cycle of dating without ever forming a real bond, which can be emotionally exhausting and leave you feeling unsatisfied. You may feel like you are losing out on something, or that you are not getting what you want. For example, another friend of mine was roaching several women at the same time, but he never felt happy with any of them. He always wondered if there was someone better out there, and he never settled down with anyone. He was always chasing the next high, the next score, the next adventure. He ended up feeling alone and empty, and he regretted not giving any of them a real shot. He realized that he had passed up on some incredible women who could have made him smile.
The Key to Stop Roaching and Find Your Soulmate
If you find yourself roaching in the world of online dating, it’s important to take a step back and reevaluate your approach. Instead of seeing multiple people at the same time, focus on forming a real connection with one person at a time. Be open with them about your intentions and make sure you are both on the same vibe. This will allow you to build a stronger, healthier relationship that is based on trust and communication. You will be able to have fun with them, share your feelings and thoughts, and cheer each other up. You will also avoid the drama, stress, and guilt that come with roaching. For example, after I kicked Jake to the curb, I decided to give online dating another try. But this time, I only chatted with one guy at a time, and I made sure we were clear about what we hoped for from each other. We hit it off right away, and we have been happily dating for six months now. He makes me giggle, he tunes in to me, and he admires me. He is everything I ever wished for in a partner.
It’s also important to limit the number of people you are texting with at any given time. Having too many matches on dating apps can be nerve-wracking, and it’s easy to get distracted by the options. You may end up wasting your time and energy on people who are not a match for you, or who are not looking for anything real. By limiting the number of people you are texting with, you can focus on forming deeper connections with each of them and increase your chances of finding a long-term partner. You can have fun with them, see if you have a vibe, and find out if you have the same goals and passions. For example, when I started online dating again, I only swiped right on people who seemed compatible with me, and I only messaged those who seemed super into me. This helped me weed out the roaches and find the gems. I was able to find quality matches who were on the same page as me, and who treated me with sweetness and affection.
Find Your Gem
Roaching is the worst dating trend ever and it should be avoided at all costs. It can hurt you and the people you are seeing, and prevent you from finding a real connection. You can avoid roaching by being honest, respectful, and selective in your online dating journey. You deserve to find someone who is loyal, caring, and committed to you. Don’t settle for anything less. Don’t be a roach or date a roach. Be a gem or date a gem. And don’t forget, there is someone out there who is perfect for you, who will make you smile and treat you well. You just have to find them, and when you do, hold on to them. Happy dating!