Have you ever swiped right on someone you didn’t really like, just to see if they liked you back? Or have you ever matched with someone who seemed perfect, only to never hear from them again? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you’re not alone. Dating apps have changed the way we look for love, but not always for the better.
I’ve been there, done that. A few months ago, I downloaded a popular dating app and thought I’d give it a whirl. I was bored and lonely, and I thought it would be fun to see who was out there. I swiped right on almost everyone, hoping to get as many matches as possible. I was thrilled when I saw that I had over 30 matches in one day.
But then, something weird happened. None of them messaged me. Not a single one. I waited for days, but nothing. I started to wonder what was wrong with me. Was I not attractive enough? Was I not interesting enough? Was I not good enough?
I decided to take matters into my own hands and message some of them myself. I sent them witty and flirty messages, hoping to spark a conversation. But again, nothing. Most of them didn’t even bother to reply. The few who did, gave me one-word answers or ghosted me after a few exchanges. I felt like I was talking to a wall.
I realized that dating apps were not what they seemed. They were not a magical solution to finding love. They were not a fun and easy way to meet new people. They were not a source of happiness and fulfillment. They were a source of frustration and disappointment.
Swipe Right on Everyone? Think Again.
One of the biggest problems with dating apps is that they encourage us to swipe right on everyone, regardless of whether we are actually interested in them or not. Why do we do this? Well, there are many reasons. Maybe we are bored and want to kill some time. Maybe we are curious and want to see who likes us back. Maybe we want validation and want to boost our ego. Maybe we have FOMO and don’t want to miss out on any potential matches.
Whatever the reason, swiping right on everyone is not a good idea. Trust me, I learned this the hard way. A few weeks ago, I was feeling lonely and decided to go on a swiping spree. I swiped right on every single person I saw, without even looking at their photos or profiles. I thought it would be fun to see how many matches I could get.
Well, I got more than I bargained for. I ended up with over 80 matches in one hour. I was shocked and overwhelmed. How was I supposed to sort through all these people? How was I supposed to find the ones who were actually compatible with me? How was I supposed to start a conversation with any of them?
I quickly realized that most of my matches were not what I was looking for. Some of them were too old or too young for me. Some of them lived too far away from me. Some of them had nothing in common with me. Some of them were just plain creepy or rude.
I wasted so much time and energy swiping right on everyone, but I got nothing out of it. I didn’t find anyone who sparked my interest or made me feel excited. I didn’t have any meaningful or enjoyable conversations. I didn’t go on any dates or meet anyone in person.
Swiping right on everyone is not the way to go if you want to find love on dating apps. It only leads to low-quality matches and wasted time. Instead, you should be more selective and mindful about who you swipe right on. You should look at their photos and profiles and see if they appeal to you. You should check if they share your values, interests, and goals. You should swipe right only on the people who you genuinely want to get to know better.
By being more selective and mindful, you will increase your chances of finding high-quality matches who are worth your time and attention. You will also save yourself from a lot of frustration and disappointment.
So, the next time you open your app, remember to be more careful and intentional about who you swipe right on. Don’t settle for superficial matches that don’t spark a conversation or a connection. Look for people who make you feel something.
Don’t Get Addicted to the Match Rush
Another problem with dating apps is that they make us addicted to the match rush. What is the match rush? It’s the burst of dopamine and serotonin that we get when we see that someone likes us back. It’s the feeling of excitement and happiness that we get when we see that we have a new match. It’s the feeling of validation and confidence that we get when we see that someone digs us or finds us cool.
The match rush is not a bad thing by itself. It’s natural and normal to feel good when someone shows interest in us. It’s human and healthy to enjoy the excitement of meeting new people.
The problem is when we get addicted to the match rush. When we chase it like a high. When we crave it like a fix. When we depend on it like a crutch.
When we get addicted to the match rush, we are not mindful enough about who we swipe right on. We swipe right on people who we are not sure about, just in case they turn out to be a match. We swipe right on people who we don’t really care about, just to see if they care about us. We swipe right on people who we don’t really want, just to have more options.
When we get addicted to the match rush, we don’t do anything with our matches. We don’t hit them up or reply to them. We don’t start a chat or keep it going. We don’t ask them out or meet them in person.
When we get addicted to the match rush, we collect our matches like trophies or badges. We keep them in our app or phone, but we never look at them or talk to them. We use them to make ourselves feel better or look cooler, but we never connect with them or care for them.
When we get addicted to the match rush, we miss out on the real purpose and potential of dating apps. We miss out on the chance and possibility of finding love. We miss out on the joy and fulfillment of building a relationship.
Another challenge is that we might be too picky when we decide on whether we should speak to a person we matched with. How do we do this? Well, we tend to go for matches that look the hottest, and ditch or ghost the rest. We tend to hit up matches that have the coolest or most attractive bios, and skip or delete the others. We tend to focus on matches that have some type of high status, and ignore or forget the others.
This is not a fair or smart way to use dating apps. It makes us shallow and superficial. It makes us miss out on people who might be a great fit for us. It makes us waste our time and energy on people who might not be right for us.
The irony is that we do all of these things even though we have already swiped right on these profiles we ditch and liked them before. We have already shown interest in them and given them a chance. We have already matched with them and started a connection. We have already seen something in them that caught our eye or piqued our curiosity.
But then, we change our mind and lose our interest. We compare them to other matches who look better or sound more impressive. We talk only with the best (best looking, best jobs, most popular, richest, etc.), and ignore the rest. We forget why we swiped right on them in the first place. We lose sight of what we are looking for in a partner.
How to Overcome the Challenges of Dating Apps.
So, we’ve talked about some of the challenges that we face when using dating apps, such as falling for the match trap, being fooled by the photos or profiles, and being too picky with our matches. These challenges can make us feel frustrated and disappointed with our dating experience, and make us lose hope of finding love.
But don’t worry, there are ways to overcome these challenges and make dating apps work for us, not against us. Here are some tips and tricks that can help you use dating apps wisely and effectively, and have a better chance of finding your match.
Tip #1: Be mindful of your swiping habits
Don’t swipe right on everyone, hoping to score as many matches as possible. Don’t swipe right on people who you are not sure about, just in case they turn out to be a match. Don’t swipe right on people who you don’t really care about, just to see if they care about you. Don’t swipe right on people who you don’t really want, just to have more options.
Swipe right on people who you are genuinely interested in and compatible with. Swipe right on people who you want to get to know better and have a connection with. Swipe right on people who you are looking for love, not for validation.
By being mindful of your swiping habits, you will avoid the match trap and focus on quality over quantity. You will also avoid wasting your time and energy on people who are not right for you, and save it for people who are.
Tip #2: Look beyond the photos or profiles
Don’t judge people by their photos or profiles, rather than by their personality or compatibility. Don’t reply to matches who look the best, but ignore the rest. Don’t use dating apps, just to find someone who looks good, but doesn’t make you feel good.
Look beyond the photos and profiles of your matches. Look for their personality and compatibility. Look for their values and interests. Look for their feelings and intentions.
By looking beyond the photos and profiles, you will find people who are more than just a pretty face or a catchy bio. You will find people who are a good match for you in more ways than one.
And remember, your matches are people too. They have feelings and expectations too. They deserve your kindness and respect too.
So don’t ditch or ghost them without giving them a chance. Don’t skip or delete them without getting to know them better. Don’t ignore or forget them without showing them some appreciation.
Give them a chance to show you who they are and what they want. Give them a chance to make you laugh or smile. Give them a chance to make you happy or fulfilled.
Tip #3: Have fun and enjoy the process
Don’t take dating apps too seriously or stress yourself out over them. Don’t let them take over your life or ruin your self-esteem. Don’t let them make you feel frustrated or disappointed with your dating experience or lose hope of finding love.
Have fun and enjoy the process of dating apps. See them as a great way to meet new people and find love in the digital age. See them as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and others. See them as an adventure that can lead you to amazing places and experiences.
By having fun and enjoying the process, you will have a positive attitude and outlook on dating apps. You will also have more confidence and charisma that will make you more attractive and appealing to your matches.
Remember, dating apps are just a tool and a platform to help you find your match. They are not the end-all and be-all of your love life. They are not the only way to meet someone or the only thing that matters. They are not a reflection of your worth or value as a person.
You are more than your photos or profiles. You are more than your matches or messages. You are more than your likes or followers. You are more than your swipes or taps.
You are a human being who has personality and compatibility. You have values and interests. You have feelings and intentions. You have dreams and goals.
You deserve to find someone who sees you for who you are and what you want. You deserve to find someone who makes you laugh or smile. You deserve to find someone who makes you happy or fulfilled.
Be yourself, be true, be respectful, be kind.
And most importantly, have fun!